I know that all of this crap will pass in a day or so, but come one honestly! Really? This month sucks, I think we really need to start seeking help. I am going to make a Dr appointment for next week. And get a referral from the Dr for an OBGYN. And from there we will just go from there. I know that if I go to the OBGYN and talk to her about our issues, he is going to get mad, saying that it isn't any ones business. Which I agree, but come on already! When will this start moving in our direction. I know that I am going to have to talk to someone in the medical field at some point. And I know this isn't a pressure issue anymore. I know that it is something else. I just really wish I knew what the hell was going. Because I am so outrageously frustrated!
So I did it! I quit smoking, again. Well, technically, we did it! T quit too. YAY!! We haven't killed each other yet. Which is a great thing! It has definitely come close. I am so hoping that I make it through work tomorrow without killing anyone!
I am having wine and cake with the girls tomorrow. One of our friends is filing for divorce. Which absolutely breaks my heart. I know that they have had problems with infertility. And I had heard that they just hadn't communicated well enough to make it through it. A few years back, my best friend and I got into it a little bit, it was right before the holidays. She had compared T and I to this other couple, because we have some similarities. Anyways, basically she compared us and I blew up at her, and then we both cried and apologized and now we are fine today. But, anyways, now this couple is getting a divorce. I talked to T tonight, because I deep down, I am not so much worried that we will have a child together, but I am more worried that our marriage won't survive getting us there. He like always reassured me that we will be more then strong enough, we are not them, we have more then them deep down. Deep down, our souls connect. I guess, that sounds pretty cheesy.
I went shopping, yesterday and today. I bought a few things, I scored a huge deal on some Butter London polish. Got a Stila Mascara for pretty cheap. Got my Lorac Pro Blush from ULTA today. YAY for 20% off coupon! Those things rock. I wish I had a better camera, so that way I could not necessarily swatch stuff, cause that isn't what I want to do, but I would like to be able to take pictures of the stuff so that way I could at least show what I purchased. I don't want to go find and use someone else's photos because that isn't me. I guess I will just not take pictures of my stuff, not for a while at least!
Leaving some words of wisdome before I go. I can't figure out if I want to talk about love, or strenght, or the fact that I want to rip someones face off. I guess I could put all of them up!
I know I'm not too lovable right now. But I am lucky that I have people that love me when I am not nearly as lovable as I usually am.
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