I made it through the chaos in one piece.
I don't really have much to say. I have no idea where I am in my cycle. I know that I am in my FW, I just don't know anything. I feel frustrated this month. I have nothing to focus on except baby stuff. So now here I am, not looking for a house, no longer planning a Birthday party, feeling frustrated because I don't have anything to focus on. Except of course having a freaking baby, or in my case not having a freaking baby! So now here I am.... going around in circles again.
I had a terrible dream the other night. I dreamt that I was in a room full of new moms. Except I was the only one with out a new baby. They kept handing me their new babies, and telling me how wonderful it was to be a mom. I was crying and telling them that I couldn't take anymore, but more babies kept on coming. I know it was just a dream, but it put me in a funk for the rest of the day. I woke up feeling lost and alone, and I hate that feeling. Because I know better. I know for sure that I am not lost, and I am damned certain that I am not alone.
My friend from way back invited me to her baby shower. I haven't talked to her in ages. We used to hang out all the time close down the bar and then go hiking. We would go hiking in our crazy outfits from that night. Most of the time we were in our heels and drunk as hell, how we didn't kill ourselves or anyone else, is amazing to me. I had the best times with her. Anyways, we lost touch for a couple of years when she moved away. And then she came back and we got together for a couple of dinners but then lost track of each other again. I knew that she was pregnant, but I didn't know that she had moved back into town until she shot me a text a few months ago. But since my work schedule has been an ass I haven't been able to sit down with her and talk. She invited both T and I to her shower, and I think I will go, I am not to sure if T will go, but I will go. I am going to try to get together with her before hand. I want to catch up with her and stuff without the prying ears of her family.
Gah! Speaking of my work schedule, I am seriously not to happy right now. T has the next week off at work and guess who is working her ass off?!?! That would be me!!! I am working 6 days, all nights and all long days. I have one day off next week and its at the beginning of T vacation. So I guess we will just have to make the best of our day together! I can't complain to much because I do get to sleep in with him. And that doesn't happen to often. So I guess I will take what I can get! But I am pretty sure that my nights of working late are coming to an end soon. I miss my husband. I don't see him as often as I should. But, I suppose this is just one more step to owning a house, and one more step to getting my next raise. So I will take what I can get I guess.
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