What Is There to be Afraid Of?

Ugh.... I don't know why I am so scared.  I have my appointment on Wednesday, and I am scared.  My anxiety is bad, I am nervous, and I feel silly.  For being so scared. 

For those of you that "know me", you know I have a bad memory.  I have to write everything down, I write list for everything just to stay on track when I have a busy day.  I get distracted easily, and if I don't focus, I get lost.  So I have a list of questions to ask the Dr.  And to make sure that things get done in the right order.  This is the same Dr. that my friend and her bf used to get pregnant.  I know, because she has told me, that things are done in the right order.  I know that before she prescribes anything she will give me a referral for T to get a SA. I know that I will get my CD 3 blood work done and I will have an HSG done.  I know that if she does prescribe anything then there will be ultrasounds to make sure that I have no cyst and that I have good follicles.  I know all of this will happen, but I still have a list.  And I am still scared. 

T and I have never really had anything too easily.  We have always had to fight for us.  I am afraid this will be no different.  I am afraid of unexplained infertility.  I am afraid of IUI.  I am afraid of IVF.  But, I am more afraid of not knowing. 

So I guess for now, I just sit here and wait.  And try to stay busy.  So I don't think about my appointment.  Or about our future.